1 00:00:04,490 --> 00:00:08,610 So, Sybil, before we go in the air, I hear 60 Minutes is really killing your 2 00:00:08,610 --> 00:00:09,589 show in ratings. 3 00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:11,690 Let me put that rumor to rest right now. 4 00:00:12,150 --> 00:00:13,150 Yes, it is. 5 00:00:14,210 --> 00:00:15,490 Okay, let's do it. 6 00:00:17,090 --> 00:00:20,770 We're here live at the opening of the Los Angeles Petting Zoo with Sybil 7 00:00:20,770 --> 00:00:23,790 Sheridan, star of Lifeforms. How's it going, Sybil? 8 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:27,220 Oh, we're having a blast, Arthel. Did you ride the llama yet? 9 00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:29,640 Are your children here today? 10 00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:33,400 Oh, no. My children have all matured into healthy, resentful adults. 11 00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:37,540 I'm here because many of our newest fans of Life Forms are kids. 12 00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,080 And I just want to say, hi! 13 00:00:40,500 --> 00:00:43,980 Oh, aren't you the cutest little thing on four legs? 14 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,740 His name's Cyrus, and he's from our farm. We gave him to the zoo because 15 00:00:48,740 --> 00:00:49,840 says it's good to share. 16 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,910 Well, your mommy's right. Think of all the little boys and girls who get to 17 00:00:52,910 --> 00:00:54,290 enjoy Silas, thanks to you. 18 00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:57,650 Isn't that sweet? He's eating out of my head! 19 00:00:58,830 --> 00:01:00,150 He's spitting all over me! 20 00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:03,310 Mommy! Mommy! Everybody call Silas over! 21 00:01:04,190 --> 00:01:05,630 I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! 22 00:01:07,010 --> 00:01:09,850 You're just looking to end up on a plate next to some mint jelly! 23 00:01:12,690 --> 00:01:15,390 And so, another children's charity event. 24 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,540 Turns ugly. As actress Sybil Sheridan goes berserk here at the Los Angeles 25 00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:21,540 Petting Zoo. 26 00:01:21,640 --> 00:01:23,620 It was the lamb's fault! 27 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,940 Loving what it loves you. 28 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,400 And then taking that bow. 29 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,580 Nice work if you can get it. And if you get it. 30 00:01:45,930 --> 00:01:49,230 I like your show. But now that I've read about how you humiliated that poor 31 00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:54,530 defenseless lamb, I'll never let my daughter watch you again, you... potty 32 00:01:54,530 --> 00:01:55,530 mouth! 33 00:01:57,010 --> 00:01:58,170 Can I come out now? 34 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:02,010 Yes, dear. The bad lady is gone. 35 00:02:04,570 --> 00:02:05,570 Oh, look. 36 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:07,530 They formed some kind of protest group. 37 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,889 Clean TV for kids. 38 00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:13,790 There's some very powerful names associated with this group. 39 00:02:14,350 --> 00:02:15,350 Big Bird. 40 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:17,100 Flipper. 41 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,320 Lamb chop. 42 00:02:18,380 --> 00:02:19,680 Oh, I love her. 43 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:21,400 Him? 44 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:26,360 Her. I worked with her once. I love her. But off camera, she has the mouth of a 45 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,100 longshoreman. But funny. 46 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,360 It's not fair. 47 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,560 Silas the Lamb bit me. I didn't bite him. 48 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,840 Why aren't they all over his woolly ass? 49 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:39,380 Oh, you know how it is. A sweet young thing straight off the farm comes to 50 00:02:39,380 --> 00:02:41,220 Hollywood, shakes its tail, and a star is born. 51 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,980 Lifeform's producers have already started damage control. 52 00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,040 I am giving a speech at a big animal rights banquet. 53 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,980 You just know they're going to serve all that vegetarian crap. 54 00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:57,280 Sybil, there is a man at the bar who has been staring over here for the past ten 55 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,280 minutes. 56 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:03,720 I can't tell if he's looking at me or you. Now switch places for me. Whatever 57 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,540 you do, just act nonchalant. 58 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,740 Swing your partner, do -si -do! 59 00:03:13,960 --> 00:03:15,360 I don't think anybody noticed, do you? 60 00:03:19,940 --> 00:03:21,560 He's smiling at me. 61 00:03:22,980 --> 00:03:24,100 Should I smile back? 62 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:25,560 Should I wave? 63 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,440 Should I assume his car payment? 64 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:30,960 Why don't you ask him? I think he's coming over. 65 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:32,660 Oh, dear God, do I look okay? 66 00:03:34,860 --> 00:03:36,240 When did I get so bloated? 67 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,060 Well, now I'm upside down, but my cheekbones are back. 68 00:03:44,170 --> 00:03:47,490 I hope I'm not being too forward, but I just couldn't take my eyes off you. 69 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,450 Really? I hadn't noticed. 70 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:55,110 This is really corny, I know, but it's from the heart. 71 00:03:56,190 --> 00:03:58,350 Actually, it's from that lady's table over there. 72 00:04:01,090 --> 00:04:03,910 Sorry, I'm empty -handed. I would have brought you that lady's purse, but I 73 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,170 thought it might clash with your shoes. 74 00:04:07,070 --> 00:04:08,070 Well, 75 00:04:09,810 --> 00:04:12,330 that must have been funny, because I don't humiliate myself like that 76 00:04:12,330 --> 00:04:13,330 needlessly. 77 00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:18,300 This is going to sound like some cheap pickup line, but would you? Yeah, I'd 78 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:19,300 love to. 79 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:21,320 Don't worry, she'll warm up later. 80 00:04:25,020 --> 00:04:26,020 Hello? 81 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:27,520 No, it's me. 82 00:04:27,900 --> 00:04:29,780 When you're a veterinarian, you're always on call. 83 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:31,640 Yeah, this is Dr. Thorpe. 84 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,160 Thorpe, Thorpe, Thorpe. 85 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,480 Mail, mail, mail. 86 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,760 Always on call, that's our Dr. Dick. 87 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:53,100 Could I call you? 88 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:54,760 Are you insane? 89 00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:56,660 Your name is Dr. 90 00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,180 Richard Thorpe. 91 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:00,560 She's very upset. 92 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:03,440 Her friend was attacked by a vicious lamb yesterday. 93 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,680 What's happening to this city? If I hear about one more senseless lamb attack... 94 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:15,600 Listen, if I can help you with anything lamb -wise, or if you'd just 95 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,600 like to call me. 96 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,340 Since we're handing out cards, call me. 97 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,180 It took me two weeks, but I finally finished setting up the playhouse I got 98 00:05:39,180 --> 00:05:40,180 William for Christmas. 99 00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:42,340 I can't wait to see him play in it, so get him. 100 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,660 Thanks, Ira, but he's sleeping. 101 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:48,640 I don't care. Wake him up. I want him in that thing now. 102 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,860 So, Mom, Date's here. 103 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:56,420 Date? You've got to see this guy. She's been going out with him for two weeks. 104 00:05:56,460 --> 00:05:57,520 He is such a major babe. 105 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,220 Hey, is he allowed to be out this late on a school night? 106 00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:04,400 Try to be nice, okay? 107 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,560 Hi, Rachel. Come in, Jim. 108 00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:09,960 Hey, that rhymed. 109 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:12,360 No, it didn't. 110 00:06:14,220 --> 00:06:15,360 Mom's rang a little bit late. 111 00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:16,760 Yeah, like 15 years. 112 00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:19,620 Well, you said be nice. 113 00:06:21,340 --> 00:06:22,340 This is Zoe. 114 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,440 Hey. Hi. And this is Ira. 115 00:06:25,040 --> 00:06:27,340 Ah, husband number two. 116 00:06:27,740 --> 00:06:28,659 Zoe's father. 117 00:06:28,660 --> 00:06:29,459 The writer. 118 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,460 Nope, doesn't ring a bell. 119 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:32,760 Trust me, you are. 120 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:37,480 You do realize you're staring at his butt like it's the last piece of 121 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:38,459 in his shipwreck? 122 00:06:38,460 --> 00:06:39,540 I am not. 123 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,260 There's only one butt in my life. 124 00:06:41,700 --> 00:06:42,940 And here it is now. 125 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:50,600 Tim, I'd like you to meet my husband, um... Um... 126 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:52,380 Kevin? Kevin, yes. 127 00:06:53,480 --> 00:06:55,080 Thank you, Tim. Fine, Jim. 128 00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:58,280 Hey, see how that works? He says my name, I say his. 129 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,000 Sweetheart, it was on the tip of my tongue. 130 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:01,440 Well, that's comforting. 131 00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:04,360 I'm sorry. Come on, honey. 132 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:05,959 Sweetie pumpkin. 133 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:08,080 Here, let me help you out. It's Kevin. 134 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:11,880 Okay. 135 00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,220 Which one? This or this? 136 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:18,400 That. That's the outfit that says your place or right here. 137 00:07:19,660 --> 00:07:20,660 You know what? 138 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:22,720 This outfit talks too much. 139 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,780 Come on, Sybil. It's your third date. 140 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:29,120 But we're still in the beginning phase where everything about him seems so 141 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:34,080 perfect. I want to wait until I find out how he's not perfect to still see if I 142 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,440 like him enough to sleep with him. 143 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:38,840 That being said, why am I wearing my breakaway underwear? 144 00:07:39,700 --> 00:07:43,900 So according to your theory, you're hoping he uses the wrong fork for his 145 00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,860 so you can take him on the floor like a pirate. 146 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:50,520 No, no, no. I'm just saying I don't want to chemically bond until I emotionally 147 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,860 bond. I couldn't agree more. 148 00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:55,290 And yet I couldn't understand less. 149 00:07:56,250 --> 00:07:59,650 You remember that guy I was dating who was a horrible human being but I still 150 00:07:59,650 --> 00:08:01,950 wanted to have sex with him? The one who bugged your phone? 151 00:08:02,430 --> 00:08:04,270 Or the one who always brought his own silverware? 152 00:08:05,550 --> 00:08:08,990 No. The one I caught exposing himself to my cat. 153 00:08:12,190 --> 00:08:14,930 I have had my share of sordid affairs. 154 00:08:15,450 --> 00:08:18,870 And it's all because of that hormone that's produced at the big moment. 155 00:08:19,490 --> 00:08:20,850 It's called oxytocin. 156 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:23,580 Better known on the street as Yabba Dabba Doo. 157 00:08:24,060 --> 00:08:26,680 Darling, didn't you know? They make a patch for that now. 158 00:08:28,460 --> 00:08:29,460 Marianne, I'm serious. 159 00:08:29,820 --> 00:08:33,080 This time I am absolutely positively holding out. 160 00:08:34,919 --> 00:08:35,960 Unless I don't. 161 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:39,280 I wish I had a man I didn't want to have sex with. 162 00:08:39,539 --> 00:08:42,039 You do. That veterinarian. Don't even say it. 163 00:08:43,500 --> 00:08:45,120 You don't have to call him the D word. 164 00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:48,060 Call him his initials. R .T.? Hmm. 165 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:49,540 R .T. 166 00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,270 Sounds too much like rat. That rat bastard, Dr. Dick! 167 00:08:54,730 --> 00:08:55,730 You see, it's hopeless. 168 00:08:57,390 --> 00:08:58,390 Come on. 169 00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:00,970 Someone's got the same name as your ex -husband. 170 00:09:01,650 --> 00:09:02,650 It's not that uncommon. 171 00:09:02,890 --> 00:09:03,970 What do you think? Yummy. 172 00:09:05,230 --> 00:09:06,950 I knew a Richard Thorpe in high school. 173 00:09:07,390 --> 00:09:10,910 And oddly, two Kareem Weisenstocks. 174 00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,250 I think you should give this guy a chance. 175 00:09:15,290 --> 00:09:16,290 Hey! 176 00:09:16,680 --> 00:09:19,820 Why don't you bring him to my suck -up -to -animals banquet tomorrow night? 177 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:25,160 So my first date in months will be a boring attempt to save your career. 178 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:30,500 Marianne, I'm going to get up on the stage and make nice to a sheep. That is 179 00:09:30,500 --> 00:09:31,500 boring. 180 00:09:31,740 --> 00:09:34,500 Some parts of the country, that's a bachelor party. 181 00:09:38,140 --> 00:09:41,200 Whoa, I'm standing between my date and my ex -husband. 182 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,800 Oh, not how the dream went. 183 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,480 Okay. I know I'm not wanted. 184 00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:50,440 Apparently not. 185 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:53,080 So, what are you kids doing tonight? 186 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,920 We're going to none of your beeswax, followed by a late separate. Why are you 187 00:09:57,920 --> 00:09:58,920 still here? 188 00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:01,260 I've got it. I'm gone. Have a good time. 189 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,420 Oh, hold on. I think my car is blocking yours. 190 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,360 So, Jim, your financial advisor. Exactly how young have you been doing that? 191 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:09,300 Long. How long? 192 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:15,040 It's a shame you're not going to sleep with Jim tonight, because that would be 193 00:10:15,040 --> 00:10:16,780 fabulous outfit to see me out of. 194 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,060 I don't know. 195 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,300 I'm 46. 196 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,480 He's just a 25 -year -old. So? 197 00:10:22,020 --> 00:10:24,700 You could show him things those younger girls never even dreamed of. 198 00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:26,460 Oh, honey, I know that. 199 00:10:26,940 --> 00:10:29,000 I just don't want to do him any permanent damage. 200 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,400 It's a set of radials. 201 00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,460 A set of radials? 202 00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,820 Jim, you shouldn't have. 203 00:10:44,780 --> 00:10:45,780 What a beautiful dress. 204 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:50,140 It's too much, isn't it? And when I saw it, I knew you'd look great in it. But 205 00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:52,580 it's probably too... It's beautiful. 206 00:10:53,580 --> 00:10:54,580 I love it. 207 00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:55,740 Thank you very much. 208 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:03,140 That's right, Sheridan. 209 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,180 It's me, your worst nightmare. 210 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,740 What the hell are you doing here? 211 00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:13,380 Oh, you said hell. 212 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:15,369 Very nice. 213 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,870 This is a mouth you kiss your kids with. 214 00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,910 Okay, come on, everybody. 215 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:29,230 So, how about it, lamb basher? 216 00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:31,030 You want a piece of me? 217 00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:36,310 I can't believe it. I'm being threatened by a sock. 218 00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:40,870 You know, 219 00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:46,740 I'm really happy. finally consented to go out with me, Marianne, despite my 220 00:11:46,740 --> 00:11:48,400 offensive and despicable name. 221 00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:51,200 Oh, Pitch, it's just a name. 222 00:11:51,460 --> 00:11:53,120 I can get past it. 223 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,480 Marianne? 224 00:11:55,380 --> 00:11:57,340 Marianne, how good to see you. 225 00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:01,320 And who is this handsome gentleman? 226 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:07,620 Gina, I'd like you to meet Dr... Rubble. 227 00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:11,420 Dr. Barney Rubble. 228 00:12:11,680 --> 00:12:13,410 I'm a lot taller. in person. 229 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:15,690 He's charming. 230 00:12:15,990 --> 00:12:16,990 I hate you. 231 00:12:19,050 --> 00:12:21,610 Thank you, Barney. 232 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:24,310 I have many friends favoring me. 233 00:12:24,570 --> 00:12:27,330 Well, good, because I have many names. 234 00:12:31,450 --> 00:12:34,470 Wait a minute. While they're serving his tofu, what's that? 235 00:12:35,070 --> 00:12:36,070 Oh, it's chicken. 236 00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,670 I got it from the wedding next door. 237 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,460 Rachel, Kevin, I would like you to meet my friend. 238 00:12:43,060 --> 00:12:44,060 What is it again? 239 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,500 Dr. Fernando Valenzuela. 240 00:12:50,340 --> 00:12:53,260 She couldn't remember his name. 241 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,940 Well, hopefully that will change after they're married and have a child. 242 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,420 You're not still upset about that, are you, Kevin? 243 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:03,060 See, I remembered. 244 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:08,220 Rachel, oh, my God, isn't that Katrinka, the supermodel? Oh, yeah. 245 00:13:08,430 --> 00:13:12,150 Yeah, this place is full of celebrities. You know, like real ones, not like mom. 246 00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,010 Excuse me. 247 00:13:14,250 --> 00:13:15,950 I'm looking for the lifeworms table. 248 00:13:16,290 --> 00:13:19,090 Oh, this is it. You found it. It's right here. 249 00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:20,990 Thank you. 250 00:13:21,050 --> 00:13:24,470 I'm Katrina. Katrina, I know. I'm a big fan of your work. I'm Carl. 251 00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:28,630 That doesn't sound right. 252 00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:34,270 Here's the deal. You give your little speech. They bring out old Silas of the 253 00:13:34,270 --> 00:13:36,410 Lambs, kiss, kiss, and everybody loves you again. 254 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:38,800 I'm not going to kiss that lamb. He's a pig. 255 00:13:40,300 --> 00:13:42,720 In ten minutes, the whole thing will be over and we can all relax. 256 00:13:43,460 --> 00:13:46,180 Look, the head of the network is talking to Katrinka's breasts. 257 00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,320 I remember when he used to talk to my breasts that way. 258 00:13:51,980 --> 00:13:54,740 They're replacing me. Tell me now before I kiss that lamb. 259 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:58,840 You have nothing to worry about. Katrinka's red hot right now. She never 260 00:13:58,840 --> 00:13:59,840 to do life forms. 261 00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,660 Really? You're not just saying that? 262 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:03,880 Guess who? 263 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,520 Jim! 264 00:14:05,790 --> 00:14:06,850 I thought you had to meet a client. 265 00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:10,730 I do, but I know how important tonight is to you. So I thought I'd just stop by 266 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:12,390 and let you know that if I could be here, I would. 267 00:14:13,150 --> 00:14:16,250 Well, it's a shame you can't be here, because if you could be here, then I 268 00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:18,230 tell you how much it means to me that you are here. 269 00:14:19,190 --> 00:14:20,490 You're still coming by after, right? 270 00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:22,330 Of course. 271 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,450 I'm not going to let you leave for a business trip without the proper send 272 00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:27,950 Am I interrupting? 273 00:14:28,970 --> 00:14:29,970 Always. 274 00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,570 I've got to go. I'll see you later. 275 00:14:34,330 --> 00:14:37,850 There's something fishy about that guy, Sybil. He's just too, I don't know, 276 00:14:37,950 --> 00:14:40,510 perfect. Yeah, I hate that in a man. 277 00:14:41,650 --> 00:14:43,970 Why don't you come out and say it, Ira? You think he's too young for me. 278 00:14:44,310 --> 00:14:46,910 Look how many men here are with younger women. Somehow that's okay. 279 00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:48,990 But when a woman does it, everybody's threatened. 280 00:14:49,370 --> 00:14:50,370 I'm not threatened. 281 00:14:50,650 --> 00:14:52,010 I never said anything about his age. 282 00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:54,330 I've just got this feeling about him I thought you should know. 283 00:14:54,630 --> 00:14:58,110 Listen, Dad, next time you feel like biting into my life... Ladies and 284 00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:03,530 gentlemen, please welcome the current star of Lifeform, Sybil Sheridan. 285 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,900 Who are you calling current? I read it off the card. 286 00:15:12,900 --> 00:15:14,840 Thank you all for being here tonight. 287 00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:17,760 As you know, I've gotten some bad press recently. 288 00:15:18,020 --> 00:15:19,340 But you know what they say. 289 00:15:19,740 --> 00:15:23,160 There's no bad press as long as they spell your name right. 290 00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:30,740 I appreciate this opportunity to set the record straight. 291 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:35,360 No one likes animals more than Sybil Sheridan. Isn't that right, Silas? 292 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,500 I'm on my way to Jim's house. What do you think? 293 00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:34,980 Pearls? No pearls? Belt? No belt? 294 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,440 Clothes? No clothes? 295 00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:39,120 Ah, so tonight's the night. 296 00:16:40,420 --> 00:16:45,720 Are you out at the perfect phase, or are you hopped up on yabba -dabba -doo? 297 00:16:47,020 --> 00:16:50,640 Let's just say my breakaway underwear is halfway to Jim's house. 298 00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:53,540 Oh, Marianne, it was so incredible. 299 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:57,800 We were at the banquet, staring into each other's eyes, and at that moment... 300 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,719 Knock, knock. 301 00:16:58,720 --> 00:16:59,720 That happened. 302 00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:03,240 Marianne, I need to talk to Sybil, privately. 303 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:04,940 Just between the two of us. 304 00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,359 Okay, Ira, make it fast. I've got a date. 305 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,560 I came to apologize. 306 00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:14,380 Okay, I'll wait for that. 307 00:17:15,839 --> 00:17:18,859 You know how I'm always saying to my best friend, well, I wasn't a very good 308 00:17:18,859 --> 00:17:19,859 friend tonight. 309 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,380 You were there for me when I broke up with Holly. I should have been there for 310 00:17:22,380 --> 00:17:25,060 you. You know, to help you through your little lamb fiasco. 311 00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:28,960 I could have been more sensitive, so I'm sorry. 312 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,200 Is that it? 313 00:17:31,700 --> 00:17:33,200 Yeah, unless you've got something to eat. 314 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:35,030 What about Jim? 315 00:17:35,970 --> 00:17:39,390 I have no right to meddle. I'm your ex -husband, not your father. 316 00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:44,250 Right. And although I respect our friendship, I do not need your approval. 317 00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,730 Agreed? 318 00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:47,210 Agreed. 319 00:17:47,610 --> 00:17:51,310 You're a strong woman, Sybil. You've never needed help picking relationships 320 00:17:51,310 --> 00:17:52,129 the past. 321 00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:55,470 And hey, your track record speaks for itself. 322 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,370 Hmm. You're getting way too good at that. 323 00:18:08,330 --> 00:18:11,970 Homemade chicken and dumplings. That makes me smile from here to there. 324 00:18:14,050 --> 00:18:16,690 There's something about that accent that drives me crazy. 325 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:18,330 Sure enough. 326 00:18:21,010 --> 00:18:22,210 Go away, Ira! 327 00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,350 No, it's my mother. 328 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:29,690 You're not laughing. 329 00:18:30,790 --> 00:18:34,590 I forgot I lend her my suitcase. She's dropping it off for my trip, which is 330 00:18:34,590 --> 00:18:36,150 great because I really want you to meet her. 331 00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:38,320 You're only the two most important women in my life. 332 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:42,580 Ma, thanks, Ma. You're the best. 333 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,700 Pleased to make your acquaintance, little. 334 00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:51,340 Jimmy told me so much about you. 335 00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,540 Well, it's nice to meet you, too. 336 00:18:55,700 --> 00:18:57,040 I love your dress. 337 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,040 Jimmy gave it to me. 338 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,680 No kidding. 339 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:05,600 Well, I'll just put this in the bedroom. 340 00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:09,589 Isn't she great? 341 00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:10,770 Isn't this a little weird? 342 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:12,590 What? The resemblance. 343 00:19:12,910 --> 00:19:14,890 Between who? Between me and the other me. 344 00:19:15,870 --> 00:19:17,490 Well, I'm off. 345 00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:21,310 Now, you have a safe trip, Jimmy. 346 00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:26,190 And don't forget your earmuffs. It gets mighty cold in New York. 347 00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:27,430 Yes, Mom. 348 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:31,230 Don't you forget yours. You know the leaf blower man comes tomorrow. 349 00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:39,920 I know. Isn't it cute? 350 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:41,640 Now, where were we? 351 00:19:41,900 --> 00:19:44,800 I was being creeped out while you were doing your own production of Oedipus 352 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:45,800 Wreck. 353 00:19:46,060 --> 00:19:48,480 Sibyl, you're overreacting just because you're wearing the same dress. 354 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,700 What you gave to your mother and your date. 355 00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:53,180 Then there's the hair and the accent. 356 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:55,120 And the snort. 357 00:19:56,700 --> 00:19:58,880 Can't you see it? You're dating your own mother. 358 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,160 That's thick. 359 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,440 Duh. 360 00:20:03,420 --> 00:20:05,160 Can we please talk about this, Sibyl? 361 00:20:06,540 --> 00:20:07,540 Okay. 362 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,800 Maybe you're right. 363 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:11,060 Maybe I was overreacting. 364 00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:14,480 Did you wash your hands, young man? 365 00:20:18,120 --> 00:20:19,120 Too late. 366 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:21,060 Ira was right. 367 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,640 And it's all your fault. 368 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,760 Now go to your room, young man, and think about what you've done. 369 00:20:38,990 --> 00:20:39,990 Someone took my parking space. 370 00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:41,670 Could one of you guys take care of that? 371 00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,150 Thanks. 372 00:20:45,290 --> 00:20:47,450 Where's my chair? The one with my name on it. 373 00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:49,330 The one that says I have a job. 374 00:20:50,570 --> 00:20:52,990 Sybil! Hi, how are you? 375 00:20:53,290 --> 00:20:54,290 You look great. 376 00:20:55,070 --> 00:20:57,190 Thank you, but do I look employed? 377 00:20:59,270 --> 00:21:01,750 Listen, you and I go way back. 378 00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:04,530 The network figured it'd be a little easier coming from me. 379 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,250 They were wrong. 380 00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:07,870 I've been fired before. 381 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,680 but they were always classy enough to do it behind my back. 382 00:21:10,900 --> 00:21:14,300 The lamb incident really hurt the show. Just look at the kind of letters we've 383 00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:15,300 been getting. 384 00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,440 The mean lady scares me. 385 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,720 There are thousands of these, and I'm not even including some very vicious 386 00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:23,840 macaroni collages. 387 00:21:25,460 --> 00:21:27,360 So who's replacing me, Katrinka? 388 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:29,920 We're going younger, right? 389 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,280 Well, sort of. 390 00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:36,760 Let's just say they're going a different way.